Topeka, KS–Madison Zoelfsky, the Youth Minister for St. Catherine Parish, was reduced to looking up slang terms on Urban Dictionary yesterday after a conversation with local teenagers.
The 24-year-old has been in ministry for one year now since graduating college in 2022. But she told The Daily Inquisition that her job has gotten a lot more challenging in the past few months.
“All of a sudden I can’t understand anything the teens are saying,” Zoelfsky complained. “One second they’re talking normally about their bff…the next second they’re saying how they rizzed up their cheugy main character, or something.”
The former young person had to go to her computer (a 2016 macbook pro) to look up several of the new vocabulary words, and even still struggled to piece their meaning together.
“Ok, I think I got it now…‘rizz’ is romantic charm. So the kid was telling me how he successfully asked out his girlfriend,” she said.
Zoelfsky is not alone in her confusion. Since the COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent collapse of society, many previously-hip youth leaders are reportedly lagging behind the trends, as the younger generations have been driven completely online. Thanks to TikTok’s algorithms, new slang imported from the urban and LGBQT communities spreads throughout the teenage world before anyone else can adapt.
While she was doing research, a member of Zoelfsky’s youth group ran into her office.
“Yo boomer, are we low-key vibing Thursday or were you capping last week?” the teen asked.
Zoelfsky held up her finger while she googled some vocabulary, before finally responding. “Yes, Jeffery, we are indeed having youth group Thursday evening, as I said before,” she said calmly.
Jeffery only replied with “Say less,” before abruptly leaving the room.
Zoelfsky was about to google this new phrase, but was interrupted when another teen burst into the office.
“I see them snatched sneakers, queen. That drip be bussin’, like it slaps fr fr SKRRT!” he yelled.
At press time, Zoelfsky was seen crying at her desk while she shopped online for a new tombstone.
