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We’ve all been there. We’re trying to relax, when suddenly there’s the sound of breaking glass, and the high-pitched blood-curdling screams of a child in agony. As a parent, it can be enough to make you want to pull your hair out!
But not one man. This local dad is able to stay as cool as a cucumber, even when his child interrupts his time yet again with a life-threatening injury. How does he do it? Julia Barnowitz, staff writer for The Daily Inquisition (and frazzled parent of four herself!) intended to find out. She sat down with Troy, the miracle dad, for a behind-the-scenes interview.
Transcript is reproduced below for the benefit of the hearing impaired.
JULIA BARNOWITZ, THE DAILY INQUISITION:
Hi Troy, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Before we dive into it I just want to say your story is inspiring to so many parents out there who feel like they just can’t get a break.
TROY BARNOWITZ, LOCAL DAD:
Thank you, Julia. You know, I get a lot of similar reactions from people I meet, mostly on Reddit, and it’s genuinely humbling to have such an impact. It’s something I really couldn’t have anticipated.
JULIA:
I bet! It goes to show parents who may be overwhelmed or even scared of the burdens of having children that really things don’t have to be so hard. That’s a message people need to hear, and I’m sure the appreciation can be felt.
I’m sure you get lots of questions, too! Like, just how do you pull something like this off so consistently?
TROY:
That’s right, Julia, I get asked that a lot. Mostly it comes from years of diligently distracting myself at every possible moment. That long training is the only way your brain can functionally tune the pro-level interruptions whenever crunch time hits.
JULIA:
Distractions like your child wailing in pain, going into shock, and vomiting all over the room.
TROY:
Exactly. That kind of thing would normally derail whatever precise “me-time” I’ve carved for myself, except that I’ve built up a lot of practice. For parent’s just starting out on that journey, I recommend starting out small, with maybe just 4-5 social media accounts they can check on their phone. And give themselves grace, because they aren’t going to be able to ignore every stimulus right away.
JULIA:
Wow, don’t I need that advice myself! I can’t tell you how many times my child has burst into the room after sustaining a critical injury, and I immediately drop whatever I’m doing to rush them into emergency surgery. At least one time, I can tell you that!
(LAUGHTER)
JULIA:
Now Troy, a lot of parents get discouraged in their distraction because situations still come up that need actual addressing, like when your firstborn has blood pouring from their eyes and is convulsing in front of you. As much as we’d love to make it all disappear, we know what happens if we don’t do anything.
TROY:
Oh boy, talk about stains on the carpet, or maybe even damage to your Playstation 5 if the flailing gets really out of hand.
JULIA:
Not to mention the hospital bills!
(LAUGHTER)
JULIA:
So tell our listeners and readers, please, how you would handle a circumstance like that.
TROY:
Well, if something is really getting out of hand, I know how to take command of the situation without even moving from the couch. All you have to do is say, “Go ask your mother,” or some similarly-applicable phrasing.
JULIA:
And that works?
TROY:
You bet! The child, or perhaps one of their siblings, will eventually stop frothing at the mouth and claw their way up the stairs to your spouse’s bedroom to ask for help. And just like that, it’s out of your hands.
JULIA:
Unbelievable, it’s just that simple!
TROY:
It’s just that simple. Oftentimes we parents overcomplicate things, or add more stress to the job than is actually needed. I blame media depictions of these “perfect” parents, always attentive and hanging on to everything their little rascal does. It creates unrealistic standards that we have to let go if we’re going to thrive in life by watching endless Twitch streams of Mario Kart 64 speed runs.
(LAUGHTER AND INDISTINCT CLATTERING SOUNDS)
JULIA:
Troy, I just have to ask again: how?
TROY:
Huh?
JULIA:
Like seriously, how on God’s green earth can you ignore something like that? And be ok with it?
TROY:
I just didn’t hear it I guess.
JULIA:
So you weren’t paying attention, even though your wife asked you to watch the kids while she took just 15 minutes to shower for the week.
TROY:
Jules, can we stop this? I don’t know what else you want me to say. I read your script, and I deserve some humiliation, but this is going too far. I keep telling you I’m sorry. I messed up, I know. But the important thing is Eli is alright.
JULIA:
It was Casey you dolt!
(CHOKING SOUNDS AND END OF AUDIO)
Wow, there you have it! Truly an inspiration to all of us parents struggling to get by, that things can get easier.
A special thanks to Troy Barnowitz for his willingness to sit down with us. If you enjoy this content and would like to follow him for more, he can be found on Instagram @allegheny.cemetery or on alleghenycemetery.com.
