First-time mother Angela Silverstone has been subtly pressuring her baby to become a sailor, according to sources familiar with the baby’s nursery.
“She’s made everything nautical themed,” Silverstone’s husband Adam said. “Blue crib, sailboat pictures, ship steering wheels–she’s even been dressing him up in a little sailor outfit most days.”
Adam says he’s concerned she might be putting unrealistic expectations upon their young son.
“It seems like a lot of pressure to join the navy. I want him to know we’ll love him regardless of what career he chooses,” he said.
“Unless he writes satire, obviously,” he added.
The baby’s grandfather, Perry Silverstone, echoed those sentiments.
“Of course, I want him to join the Navy like his father, and me, and my father before me!” the elder Silverstone said. “But I’m worried that if his parents push too hard it’ll drive him to piracy, or some other teenage rebellion.”
The child’s mother was dismissive of these concerns as she hung another ocean-blue decoration in the child’s nursery.
“Look how cute!” was all she could say.