Trump’s ‘The NRA’s Tour’ not as popular as expected

Former President Trump’s new campaign circuit, “The NRA’s Tour,” is not doing as well among voters as hoped, according to anonymous sources from within Trump’s staff.

The former President partnered with his longtime sponsor, the National Rifle Association, to run a new nationwide series of rallies. He had planned to make each rally a three hour long extravaganza, featuring 44 speeches on the merits of gun ownership in America. Organizers say they had anticipated selling out stadiums in major cities, but so far the turnout has been underwhelming. 

“‘The NRA’s Tour’ is still going on as planned,” campaign spokesperson Tim Allen told The Daily Inquisition. “Unfortunately, the lame-stream media’s dishonest attack on Trump and other gun allies have temporarily set back our attendance goals, but soon the stadiums will be full of people trying to see the most popular President ever.”

Voices on both the Right and the Left have criticized Trump for aligning himself so closely with the embattled gun-rights lobby group, citing concerns with rising gun violence in America’s cities and schools. But despite opposition, Trump has maintained what he says is a firm but reasoned endorsement of the Second Amendment.

“Private gun-ownership is an explicit right in our Constitution, the law of the land. My heart goes out to all those hurt by gun violence–but we can’t start cutting out pieces of the Constitution without undermining the very fabric of our political system.”

He continued, “If people want to propose an amendment banning guns, now that I could get behind.”

At press time, the U.S. Bishops excommunicated Trump for supporting gun rights, saying it was “incompatible with the pro-life cause.”